4 Spheres To Find Your Why

Hi,

Some people build because they want more space. Some because they’re tired of renting or compromising. But for others, it goes deeper, it feels like something they have to do.

Ikigai is a Japanese word meaning “a reason for being.” And today, I want to show you how to use it to figure out why building your own home might not just be a good idea… …but the right idea for you.

What is Ikigai?

In essence, ikigai is what brings you joy, meaning, and fulfilment in daily life, often without fanfare.

It originated in Japan however has been adapted over time and popularised in Western Culture. Through these adaptations it has evolved and is now often described as four overlapping circles with each one representing something that makes up a meaningful life:

1. What you love
2. What you’re good at
3. What the world needs
4. What you can be paid for

In Japan though, ikigai is more fluid and subtle. It doesn’t have to include money, career, or productivity. It can be as simple as:

• tending a garden
• caring for a grandchild
• writing haiku
• walking by the sea every morning

And this is where it can be used for discovering purpose in Self-Build.

Let’s Apply Ikigai to Self-Building

Using the template image above, we can construct our own prompts that help us delve deeper into the different driving forces behind wanting to build.

1.What You Love --> What Excites You

This question reveals desire, but not just surface-level wants.
It points to the deeper, often unspoken longings that sit beneath the dream.

Because excitement is rarely about square footage or finishes.
It’s about what those things symbolise.
It’s not really the open-plan kitchen or the garden office, it’s what those spaces mean to you.

So, ask yourself:

Why do these things excite you so deeply?

Look for what this desire represents underneath:

• Is it about freedom? (No more landlords. No more compromises.)
• Is it about self-expression? (I’ve never had a space that reflects who I am.)
• Is it about belonging? (I want a place that feels like it’s mine in every way.)

​

2. What You’re Good At --> What Have You Overcome

This question doesn’t just uncover your capabilities, it exposes your story.

Because often, the things we feel called to build aren’t random.
They’re responses to what we’ve lived through.
The desire to self-build can be shaped by the challenges you’ve faced, the values you’ve formed, and the beliefs you carry about what a home should truly be.

The moments that stick in your mind, the ones that changed you, are often clues to what you’re really building for. They may point to what you want to protect against, rise above, or create in spite of.

Here are some examples that might stir reflection:

• A traumatic event
• An illness
• Divorce
• Job Loss
• Raising children in an environment that didn’t feel safe or stable

​

3. What the World Needs --> What Your Family Needs

This question uncovers responsibility.

Because building your own home isn’t just about what you want. It’s also about who you’re building it for.

Often, our strongest reasons for action are tied to the people closest to us.
We feel a pull to provide what we didn’t have, protect what we care about, and create something that others can rely on.

Think about:

• Your children (Space to grow, stability to thrive, a place that will always be home)
• Your partner (A shared dream realised together, a sense of security and progress)
• Aging parents (A way to support them with dignity, or bring them closer with independence)
• Future generations (A legacy to hand down, built not just with bricks, but with intention)
• Yourself, years from now (Peace of mind that you created something lasting, meaningful, and debt-free)

​

4. What You Can Be Paid For --> Improves Financial Security

This question isn’t just about money, it’s about freedom, resilience, and ownership.

For many self-builders, the draw isn’t just creative control or bespoke design.
It’s the opportunity to rewrite their financial story.

Because when you build smart, you don’t just get a house. You get:

• A home without developer markups
• Equity that would’ve gone to someone else
• A future where your biggest asset was crafted, not just bought

It might also unlock:

• Lower long-term living costs (Better energy efficiency, fewer compromises, reduced bills)
• A mortgage-free future (Less debt, less stress, more options)
• The potential to rent, sell, or re-mortgage (A project that becomes a stepping-stone toward financial freedom)

​

Bringing it All Together

When you put all four of these reflections side by side into a new framework, a clearer picture starts to emerge.
Not just an idea of what you want to build, but why this project matters on a deeper level.

Your excitement points to what lights you up.
Your past reveals what shaped you.
Your family shows who you’re building for.
And your finances ground it all in real-world impact for longevity.

That overlap, that central point, is your Self-Builders Ikigai. It’s not always obvious at first. But if you spend time with these questions, it becomes hard to ignore.

In next week's issue we're going to go deep. About seven-levels deep.

- Brendan
​Measure Twice, Build Once

​​​​​​